Thursday, February 24, 2011

Birthday Blues

Today is my 31st Birthday. I should be happy. But, I feel sad. Three years ago on my Birthday, my dad was gravely ill. He passed away 3 weeks later. Two years ago, I was blissfully pregnant with Ella. I had just found out that she was a she and DH had bought me a beautiful diaper bag as a gift. Three weeks later, she passed away too. I feel like I'm starting to relive those dates all over again. Will my heart ever stop aching?

16 comments:

  1. KateFebruary 24, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    Each year, it will be a little easier, but the sting will always be there. I'm so sorry you are down on your birthday. I hope that your special day gets better and that you end up having a very happy birthday! *hug*

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  2. TiffanyFebruary 24, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    HUGS bree <3

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  3. JenFebruary 24, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    I so get this. I dread my birthday, too. I found out I was pregnant with Lily on my 30th birthday...This will always be the significance of March 26th, now.

    I suspect the sting will always be there, my friend. ((hugs)) Ella is lucky to have you as her mommy. She's celebrating you today, I'm sure!

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  4. AnnaBelleFebruary 24, 2011 at 11:33 AM

    Happy birthday Bree. I'm sorry that birthdays come with painful memories.

    (((hugs)))

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  5. LisetteFebruary 24, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    I am sorry Bree, I wish there was something I could do or say to take away your bday blues.
    Thinking of you and wishing you a happy birthday! ((HUGS))

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  6. Ava's mummyFebruary 24, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    I am so sorry that today is extra tough. I have no wise words but I am sending much love and hugs across the ocean to you. I hope that your beautiful girl can show you that she is thinking of you in some special way.

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  7. E SmallFebruary 24, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    Bree, I am so sorry you are sad. And while you will always ache those losses you have already learned so many wonderful ways to deal with them (if that's even possible) I hope you are able to enjoy the little moments even through the sadness. :)

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  8. Hope's MamaFebruary 24, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    My birthday is four weeks after Hope's and it is never an easy time of year for me. I was in such a fog that first year and I had all these people wishing me a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" when all I wanted to do was curl up and die. Slowly things have got better, but my birthday will never be the same.
    xo

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  9. BethFebruary 24, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    Hugs Bree! I hope you are able to enjoy the day, but I can understand how much you miss your dad and baby girl.

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  10. DeniFebruary 24, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    Love you and so sorry your birthday can't just be a huge celebration! I'm hoping the cupcakes and chocolate cake continue to help :) I'm sorry for your losses, both are heartbreaking and not "gotten over" ever!

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  11. KateFebruary 24, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    I am sorry today was filled with mixed emotions. I just know Ella and your dad were eating a birthday cupcake for you. You are loved, Bree. Happy Birthday old lady ;-)

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  12. Sarita BoyetteFebruary 24, 2011 at 11:27 PM

    Bree, you have been traumatized around your birthday twice, so it's no wonder you are sad. I wish I could take away your pain. Please know I'm thinking about you & saying a little prayer for you. xoxo

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  13. Mother Knows Best ReviewsFebruary 25, 2011 at 6:13 AM

    <3 to you

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  14. AnonymousMarch 1, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    *hugs* I need to call you...its been too long!!

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  15. EbeMarch 2, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    I'm sorry, Bree. Big hugs to you.

    love,
    ebe

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  16. alyssaMarch 4, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    Bree, I wish I could give you a big hug. I understand how you feel, March sucks! <3 to your sweet father and beautiful baby Ella.

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