Ella The Fairy

Akul's mom created this for me. I absolutely love it. It gives me a visual of what Ella may have looked like (minus the wings- LOL). I adore the idea of Ella taking a lick of my cupcake before I eat it. Now, I'm going to have eat more cupcakes, darn it. I think fairies are going to be my new thing. Isn't this just so adorable? Akul's mom, Nimoli is actually a real life friend. We met at our local support group. She lost her precious son a few days after he was born in February. Thank you so much, Nimoli! Looking forward to seeing you at group on Wednesday.

I received the Honest Scrap award from Sydney's Mom, Akul's Mom, and Sophie & Aiden's mom. Thanks, girls! I apologize that it took me a couple days to get this up.

There are some simple rules to accept this award. Firstly, pass the award on to 7 other bloggers and secondly, list 10 honest and hopefully interesting things about yourself.

So, I pass this award on to:

Kate at Kate's Corner

Kathy at For Kathy's Girls

Angela at Thumpin' Along

Nan at Remembering Our Triplet Angels

Courtney at Journey 2 Baby Peek

Sarah at Still Thinking...Again

Jen at Lily's Mommy Forever

AnnaMarie at A Garden For Butterflies

Here are my 10 honest and hopefully interesting (I don't feel interesting today, but I'll try) things about me:

I'm picky about my food. I won't waste calories on foods that I don't love. I won't eat food that's been in my cupboard or freezer longer than a couple of months.

I totaled my car in an accident in college. I over corrected and crashed into the center divider on the freeway.

I'm fear that I'll never get pregnant again. I don't understand what is going on with my body and I'm so frustrated. I can't picture myself with my own living baby in my arms.

I hate getting dressed. When I was in high school, I'd spend hours straightening my hair, applying make-up, picking out an outfit (how annoying). Now, I can shower, scrunch up my hair, and throw on something comfortable in 10 minutes. You'll never see me with make up. I feel like I don't even know how to put it on.

If I could start my career over again, I'd do something in the science field. Maybe study to be a chiropractor, acupuncturist, or a sonographer. Nursing was my major my first year of college, but I kept passing out while volunteering at the hospital, so I gave that up. Part of me wishes I would have stuck with it. I actually just filled out an application to volunteer at San Diego Children's Hospital. Hopefully, they'll need me.

I watch way too much TV. Name a show and I probably watch it. Seriously, it's embarrassing.

I'm kind of ADHD. I cannot sit still for long. I always have to be doing something. That's why knitting is good for me- keeps my hands busy.

I cheated on my healthy eating regimen this weekend. My diet included many glasses of wine and cheese fries at 11 pm last night.

I purposely didn't number my interesting facts, so that you wouldn't know I didn't have ten facts. My brain is mush, I've got nothing.

Hopeful

I thought I should capture this moment of hope here on my blog. Today I am feeling hopeful. I'm feeling hopeful that I made the right decision about leaving my job. I have confidence that I'm going to get some good subbing jobs going (my first job is Friday) and that I'm going to sign up a couple of clients for tutoring. I know that I can do anything I put effort into. And, I know that this work will be something I feel comfortable doing while pregnant with #2. My new business cards came in there mail yesterday. I'm calling myself, "The Traveling Teacher." I've also started a new blog where my clients can go to learn about me and ask for homework help. If you visit it, please let me know if you have any suggestions of what I could add to it.

A Bloom For Ella

Nan just sent another photo of Ella's bloom in full bloom. :)




Shelby, Lynne, and Megan's mom, Nan sent this beautiful bloom for Ella yesterday. Nan, thank you so much for acknowledging Ella's day. I wish I could come and hang out with you in your girls' garden. Thank you so much for the beautiful picture. xoxo

5 Months

Yesterday, was Ella's 5 month anniversary. I can't believe it's been 5 months. Time has flown by and it still feels like it all happened just yesterday. In just a few weeks, we will have been without her just as long as she was with us. We spent most of the day inside the house with the air conditioning cranked up. But, we went out exploring in the evening. I feel so fortunate to live in such a beautiful city. We went for a sunset walk in Coronado. Of course, I wrote Ella's name in the sand. Again, I didn't have my camera. Then, we headed downtown to buy some of these delicious cupcakes.



Mmmmm. The peanut butter chocolate cupcake is Ah-mazing. They don't call them Heaven.ly Cup.cakes for nothing.

This morning, I received a series of beautiful photos from Kenner's mom, Emalee. Thank you so much, Emalee. I just love these photos. I will post them all in Ella's Name Gallery.



I also wanted to point out that my blog buddy, Lisa is hosting a preemie clothing drive in honor of her son, Jasper. Please visit her site to see if you can help out in any way.

Reborns

When I was pregnant with Ella, I remember watching this story on Dateline. It was a story about women who carry these $4,000 baby dolls around like their live babies. I remember chuckling a bit when I saw the story. But, I also remember thinking that these women must have been traumatized in some manner to dress these babies, strap them in carseats, push them in strollers... I felt sad for them. Well, fast foward a couple of months and here I am, I am one of those women. Seriously. These dolls were made for women like me. Like us. If I had huge sums of money, I would consider getting one. But, really, if I had huge sums of money, I'd rather spend it on fertility treatments, surrogacy, or adoption.

What I've Been Up To

A couple of my faithful blog followers commented that I haven't been around (online) much this week(though, maybe they haven't switched over to my new blog). So I decided to post with what I've been up to. Warning: It's nothing exciting.

I resigned from my teaching position on Monday. Even though it's what I wanted and needed, I'm still a little sad. It was depressing packing up all of my things in my classroom. I'm also worried about whether I'll get enough subbing and tutoring jobs to make ends meet. One school district I called said they have over 700 subs on their list. I've created business cards and am working on a new blog where my tutees can come and learn about me, ask questions, ect... I'm calling myself "The Traveling Teacher."

I've been busy this week with appointments. I saw a new therapist yesterday. I may like her. I'm not sure yet. I liked my last therapist the first time too. I had acupuncture today. I love my acupuncturist. I've had my share of spa treatments, and my acupuncture sessions go above and beyond any treatment I've ever had. Tomorrow, I'm off to the dentist and to have tb test done for substitute teaching. Then, I have my follicle ultrasound on Monday morning. Let's hear it for 1 big, beautiful follie.

I'm still trying to be good with my diet (hate calling it a diet- more of a lifestyle). Still trying to eat an egg every day because my acupuncturist says if you want to have good eggs, eat eggs. Chinese rule, I guess. I've added flaxseed to my regimen too. Flaxseed is supposed to balance hormone levels in women. Other items I'm eating every day are Greek yogurt, an avocado, walnuts, and green tea. I guess if this lifestyle doesn't bring me a baby, at least I'll be healthy.

I started reading "The Time Traveler's Wife." I like it, but have had to reread sections several times. Is it just me or is it a little hard to follow? Maybe after I get farther into it, I'll get the whole going back and forth thing.

What's been going on with you?