Yesterday, the husband and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. We didn't do the traditional gifts or even cards. We are still happy to be married, but this day brought us much doom and gloom. As we talked so much about how Ella was going to be our gift this year. Yes, we still feel like she was our gift, but it's screwed up that she isn't physically with us. We sure hope that we receive a late anniversary gift by conceiving another baby this week. I have my u/s Wednesday. Pray for one, big, juicy follicle and then for it to be our month.
This afternoon, I received this beautiful painting for Ella in the mail. This painting was done by Maxton's Mom, Ashley. Maxton was born March 3rd and fought for 18 days before he passed from CDH (Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia). Ashley has been working really hard to raise awarness about CDH, a condition in which one baby is born with every ten minutes. Please check out this site to see how you can help raise awareness of CDH.
Be sure to check out the recent photos in Ella's name gallery. There's a beautiful blockprint of Ella's name and Ella at her first Cubs game.
Random Thought: Where have sweet potato fries been all my life?
Posts
I'm glad work wasn't too hard for you today. I think some people just don't know what to say or they are afraid to hurt us and that is why they don't mention our loss. I wish they knew that we are always hurting and for them to mention our babies actually is okay. I hope you have an even better day tomorrow. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeletexx,
Tina
Bree, I am glad your first day went well. The butterfly wall sounds very nice. Sorry that those who knew you didn't say anything. People just do not know how to talk about it. I've been to Maxton's site and Ashley does a beautiful job on them. I just mailed her a handkerchief today.
ReplyDeleteI will pray for your follicle. God Bless
I love sweet potato fries also. I wish more than anything our babies could be here with us, my husband and I are also about to celebrate our sixth anniversary and we are missing our son like crazy. I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed for your follies...Sending you hugs
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you decided to go back to work. It helped me a lot. I also wish you lots of luck for your u/s....a baby would be a wonderful present.
ReplyDeleteAkul's mom
Okay, what's the deal with losing a baby and 6 year anniversaries? We "celebrated" our 6 year anniversary 8 days after losing Leila. Connection????
ReplyDeleteSo glad you survived the return to work. And aren't the butterflies neat? It's like Ella was giving her approval....
You are so amazing. My first day back to work after I had the boys was ehausting and incredibly emotional.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't really do anything for our second wedding anniversary. Which was back in early June. It was two days after my EDD with the boys so it was hard.
What a beautiful painting.
*hugs*
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! Our 6 year was Sat. What a small world.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your first day went well and I think it is a nice sign that there the butterflies were there. I'm sorry that you were sad your co-workers didn't say anything but speaking from someone who has not gone though a loose like yours I think they (like me) wouldn't know if you wanted to talk about it or how to address Ella's birth and . I know that it was hard for me even to bring the subject up to my friend who lost her's 6 years ago.
Hi, Bree! I was looking up info on ic and found your blog. I lost my twin boys, Ryan and Dillon at 23 weeks on April 17th, 2009 (the day before my 32nd birthday)...I am also a teacher (3rd grade) and went into labor at school. I recently started group counseling...a big help. The boys were my first and I did get at least one hour of life with them. Both were born alive and I even got to hear Dillon cry! I think of them everyday, as I am sure you think of your sweet Ella! I am praying for your juicy follicle! I am taking Femara again and will have an ultrasound next Monday and an IUI if all looks well. I don't have a blog yet but you can find me on Facebook (Kelli Fox Glisan) or email nck12foxkn@yahoo.com I recently read a book (The Shack) that made me feel at peace with what happened.
ReplyDeleteKelli
Wow- you've really had a lot going on just in the span of a few days! I'm glad work went well though. It took me a while to re-learn how to interact with people- both those that mentioned Levi and those that filled the room with awkward silence (and I still have difficulty in new social situations). I hope each day gets easier and easier for you! Anniversaries, birthdays, any holiday really just isn't the same anymore- I'm sorry. I'm glad you guys have each other though- it's much easier getting through the tough times with someone by your side.
ReplyDeletePS- I love the butterflies!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you made it through your first day. I'm sure there will still be some hard days at work, but that is a big hurdle to jump through. It's so good to hear you had a special day on Ella's due-date too. I think it's awesome that you knitted a hat for your next baby, it symbolizes the hope that you have for the future, as well as the special connection between Ella and subsequent children. Thanks for your comments on my blog, you should totally get your own butterfly blinky!
ReplyDelete