Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The Exact Reason Why I Hate Going Out in Public
I decided to get my hair cut this morning. I have a couple of graduations to attend this week and I haven't gotten my hair cut since December. I have thick curly hair, and its just gotten out of control. I decided to try a new salon by my house for many reasons. But, mostly because I didn't want to have to tell my regular stylist what happened. It was weird because when I called to make the appointment, I almost told the receptionist that I dont want a pregnant woman to cut my hair. But, I thought what are the chances of that happening and I dont want them to think I'm weird, so I didn't say anything. Anyway, I walked into the salon and was greeted by a woman that looked like she was due to burst at any moment. I bet she was due about the same time as me. I couldnt believe it. I said, "God, please dont let this be the woman cutting my hair." I wondered what I'd do- Do I say I cant stay? Do I let her cut my hair and unload all of baggage onto her? Do I let her cut my hair and just sit in the chair coldly? She told me to have a seat and said she'd be right with me. A couple of minutes later another woman came over to me and introduced herself as the one that would be cutting my hair. THANK GOD! But, I still had to watch this preggy prance around the shop. She had a huge- I mean like 5 x 7 ultrasound picture taped onto her mirror. I wanted to tell her to take it down. I wanted to school her on all of the shit that can go wrong. I wonder how many women go into the shop each day and feel hurt by that picture. Hurt because their struggling with infertility or the loss of their child. I dont blame her for feeling excited about her impending arrival, but feel it is inappropriate for her to display it in a public space.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
I'm so sorry Bree. I know how you feel exactly. I need a haircut so badly, but don't want to go back to my stylist...I went in March and it was awful.
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy how much can be upsetting by a pregnant person, or an ultrasound photo, but it's the truth, it's heartbreaking. You can't even go out into the world without it everywhere. The other day in Wal Mart this lady stopped right next to me to talk to someone and she was HUGE...and of course rubbed her big old belly the whole time. I wanted to tell her to knock it off!! It's just too much.
Oh Bree... thinking of you. So tough.
ReplyDeleteUgh. It sucks to be blind-sided, and it really seems like big, pregnant bellies are always there when you most need them NOT to be. I hate Facebook for this very reason... especially the people who use their ultrasound pics as their profile picture. It's so hard to remember what it's like to be clueless and naive, and think that pregnancy always equals baby. Blah.
ReplyDeleteI so wish that our culture had some sort of grief symbol... in some cultures, for example, grieving families wear armbands for at least a year so that people immediately know. How much easier that seems...
Hugs to you,
S
Ugg, I know how that feels. The worst experience for me was seeing a very pregnant woman at a shopping center SMOKING! It made me furious!
ReplyDeleteOne thing that did dawn on me a couple of months after losing my baby is that probably at least a couple of the pregnant women I saw in public (and they were everywhere!) had lost a baby before. Probably most people weren't as far along as you or I were, but I realized that so many women have lost babies that statistically, some of these women must have too. That helped my bitterness a LITTLE bit. It didn't take away the jealousy, but it helped.
I'm so glad she didn't cut your hair so you didn't have to stumble on your words and figure out what the heck to talk about. I have a really hard time around newborn babies, but I remember having a really tough time around the big bellies also. I would always try to remind myself that those ladies could have been in my position, still grieving a different loss or even worse...about to have one. It helped some of the time, but other times I just wanted to let everyone know what CAN happen as well. It gets better over time, but I wish you didn't have to be faced with these issues. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI do try to remember that each woman has their own story. I agree with Sarah- there should be some sort of symbol to let others know were grieving.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you had a tough time Bree. I am glad you were able to get your hair cut but the none preggo lady! I battle how I feel about this constantly. A part of me can't stand pregnant woman (honestly, about 90% of me!) Especially people that are pregnant who I KNOW have no idea the pain we have gone through losing our child. The other part of me...the 10% left over, attempts to live life with some understanding (it sucks being sensitive! haha) But one day we will be pregnant again, and who knows maybe someone will look at us the same way and despise our big bellies or our newborns. I guess for me, I am trying so hard to remember that those ladies could have gone through what we have gone through, like Holly mentioned. The bottom line...it's tough being a grieving parent, most people have no clue! Sometimes it seems like we are damned if we do, damned if we don't. I also think it would be great to wear some type of symbol that recognized grief. Great idea!
ReplyDeleteI do think going in public gets easier. Many hugs!! I hope your week is getting better. :-)
It's interesting that you write about this, b/c I had a similar situation after my second loss. Difference being - I got the pregnant lady. It was VERY uncomfortable. Dealing with those situations never gets easier (even when pregnant now!). Hope you at least like your new "do".
ReplyDelete